Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Court-ship Period

This is my guess on what must have happened. When the new Chief Justice took oath, he must have called a meeting of all Senior judges of the country. The main agenda there must have been the huge backlog of cases. The new CJ, in true corporate management style must have spoken about how efficiency is important and must have stressed on relentless execution to clear the backlog. Some judges took it literally.

This week, so many people were sentenced to be hanged till death that Judiciary takes the limelight in this issue of SWTW. A couple was sent to the gallows on the charges of killing an entire family. The family here , was their own - it was the entire family of the girl. It included her father (who was a Haryana MLA), her mother, sister, step brother, his wife, and his two children aged 4 years, 2.5 years and 4 months ! The couple - Sonia and Sanjiv called a press conference last week , to tell the media that they are innocent and are victims of conspiracy. The media, for a change, did not jump to any conclusions. Instead, all channels, agreed with the SC ruling. Of course, psychologists and lawyers found work on the panel discussions. By the way , Sonia would be the first woman to be hanged in Independent India. I guess she will be part of history now.

In another ruling by a Tamil Nadu court, sentenced three AIADMK workers, for burning three girls alive in a bus back in 2000. This was when Jayalalitha was sent to jail on charges of corruption. The workers of her party went on a rampage, indulging in riot and arson all over the state. In this incident they put a Government College Bus carrying these girl students on fire. Three of the unlucky student were charred to death. This ruling started a new discussion over political violence and unruliness - especially in the context of what is happening in West Bengal these days.

In the third case, Delhi High Court upheld a lower court decision to send Sushil Sharma to the gallows. Sushil had killed his wife Naina Sahani and tried to roast her body in a Tandoor of a government hotel in Delhi. Sushil was a Youth Congress leader.

These people joined the list which includes names like Dhananjoy Chatterjee, Dara Singh, R P Tyagi, Santosh Singh and Md Afzal. There has been a recent surge in capital punishments in India. This is a clear indication of the how much the law is feared ind India. Perhaps these decisions will bring back the fear in the minds of hooligans in Uttar Pradesh and political workers in Bihar, who have no respect for their leaders - let alone the law. Perhaps, at least one Gujrat politician would realize his mistakes. Perhaps, one Shiv Sena worker would work for betterment of the country than looking out for couples to harass. Perhaps, Karnata leaders would think twice before burning their own cities to protest against Tamil Nadu. Perhaps, a communist in Bengal would know that a piece of land is not more valuable than a human life. Perhaps, the men and women of this country will led by conscience than greed.

PS: I have lost my sense of humor thanks to the state of our nation ( no pun intended). Perhaps, I will regain humor next week.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

What ... err ?

It took seventeen years for the Cauvery water tribunal to reach a decision on the sharing of Cauvery water. I was majorly impressed by the Judiciary, because for starters I never thought that I will see the day when this case would be decided. But then, the after-effect of the decision was exactly as I had imagined -
  • Tamil Nadu welcomed the decision, Karnataka declared that they will file a petition against it. This means when Karnataka files a petition, the first thing they will ask for is a stay order, which means for another 17-20 years, the water sharing would be haphazard. After that again, one of the states would get a chance to appeal to higher court. Higher the court, more time does it take to reach a conclusion - which means the next hearings would take another 25-35 years. By that time, my guess is that the polar ice caps would have melted and half of Tamil Nadu and Karnatak would be submerged. The problem might actually get resolved by itself.
  • Coming back to the present, the present is tense in Karnataka. A sea of farmers pooled together and came on streets - blocking highways using violence and arson. Hence a lot of precious Karnataka water has to be wasted in dousing that fire and some more was used in water canons. This started a cascade of Karnataka Tamils towards TN, as they fled Karnataka to ensure their right to life was not diluted.
  • The IT companies closed their shops in Banglore, which meant a few million dollars went down the drain. Schools and Colleges were also shut down - which made parents sweat all day. Banks were closed, and hence the liquidity of people of Karnatka was also frozen for a day.
  • When all the above was happening, politicians indulged in their usual shallow talks, pissing everyone off.
  • The most entertaining part was that the cable operators of Karnataka stopped showing Tamil Channels and Theatres showing Tamil Movies closed their shops - a classic example of "What? Err ... What? Err... everywhere..."
In West Bengal, the story was not too different. In Singur, about a dozen people died in violent protests. In Nandigram, a cop was lynched as he wanted to restore peace. Kolkota saw violent protests by Trinamool Congress and Youth Congress. Muslim Organizations came together and declared Industrialization in WB as "Anti-Muslim". All finally led Buddhadeb Bhattacharya to agree to not to disturb Nandigram and shift the SEZ somewhere else. He still insists however, that Singur Tata project still not "OK-Tata"-ed. But then the "Blow Horn" policies of the opposition are still on, and its wait and watch on the Bengal front.

In the capital of the Nation - the Master Plan 2021 was finally rolled out by the Central Government. For the reasons of confusions in the plan , I can not mention the details here - but in short - "By 2021, all unauthorized colonies would be regularized and commercial activities will be allowed in these colonies and in others which are regularized now." The mess-age is clear - "Please do not vote us out just because we sealed your shops and did not provide sewer to your homes and roads to your house were potholed." More on this on the next edition of SWTW.

Coming to good news - It was a week of WomenLib. In Harvard's 371 year history, for the very first time is all set to have a Woman as its president. Drew Gilpin, the historian is believed to be an almost final decision of the University. Also, Indira Nooyi became the PepsiCo chairperson - the 51 year IIMC pas out had just become CEO of PepsiCO four months back. Back in India, Manmohan Singh was given the "Man of The Year" title by CNN-IBN. This indirectly was the victory of Sonia Gandhi ... as we all know how Man-mohan spends all his time listening to Madam. In fact, the very fact that Sonia wanted him to be the PM proves that he is always "Man(mohan) of the hear"

Other headlines of the week were -
"BJP declares to raise inflation in the house"
- I thought it is already pretty much high, thanks to the UPA government. Do they plan to waste tax-payers' money on staging walkouts. For BJP there is a simple principle- "all is is well that ends in the Well"

"Campaigning ends in Punjab for Elections"
- BJP and Allies have gone all out in Punjab against Congress and UPA. This is a litmus test for Congress- which in all probability they will fail.

"Polls in UP only after 90% voters get I-cards - EC"
- Okay, that means I will never get to vote in UP, even after moving to Noida last week.

"Delhi : Only packed food to be sold on streets"
- If this is finalized, say goodbye to matar-kulchhas, chholey-bhaturey and golgappas. We want to make Delhi beautiful for foreigners who visit us in 2010. The first step is to remove ugly food from the streets. The next step probably would be to remove ugly people from the streets. That is why I moved to Noida, before the Delhi Government asks me to do it.

-Amit

Monday, February 05, 2007

Population Control In India and other news of the week

Like everything else in India, the land acquisition in Bengal for SEZs has taken a communal color. The Jamaat-e-Ulema Hind has resolved to protect the Mulim farmers of Bengal against their land being acquired by the Bengal Government for SEZ construction. Seeing the window of opportunity, Trinamool Congress has suddenly shown motherly care (translated in hindi as mamta) towards this organization and hence the entire Muslim community. Mamata Banrejee has invited the leader of this organization, Siddiqulla Chowdhary, to her anti land grab rallies. A CPM leader made the mistake of talking about "dire consequences" in case Chowdhary continued the opposition to the government. Senior CPM leader then had to call for peace talks so that the violence stops. A gentle reminder - this is not Kashmir, this is West Bengal.


Meanwhile, the prices kept on soaring, while the communists are busy in trying to hold their base. Food products in India like pulses and spices are at an all time high. Farmers are committing suicides at a rate greater than terrorist deaths in Kashmir. But the Central Statistical Organization claims the agricultural sector is growing at 6%. A pure statistical report again proves what I have always believed - 64.596% of all Statistics are useless. Now there is news of Home and Car Loans to rise - hence now - you can neither afford the stuff nor afford taking a loan. There is no way anybody could die bankrupt in India - here people die only in the following ways -
  • Terrorist Attacks (17%)
  • Hunger (12 %)
  • Road Accidents (11%)
  • Communal Violence (17%)
  • Natural Deaths (1%)
  • Watching TV news about Amitabh, Jaya, Abhishek and Ashwarya Bachhan - (24%)
  • Watching Sserrials with their nnnammes changed to suite Nnumerologee - ( 35%)

In other really obscure headlines of the week -

"Indians to sue British Government for unfair Immigration Laws"
- I think we pamper them too much here in India


"Sensex scales new peaks"
- This is anything but "news"


"JD(U) MLA arrested"
- This is just an act of increasing pollution in prisons of India.


" BJP back in business"
- Finally after BJP-Sena alliance won the Maharashtra Municipal elections - they have their own Business to Mind.

The funniest story of the week was in pictures. The World Bank president was seen with a hole in his socks on his visit to Turkey. This proves what I have always believed to be correct. This is all due to World Bank Projects in Bihar and Orissa. They have given so much loans to these states that the World Bank is itself in a shoddy state. Do you know that there have been irrigation projects in Bihar funded by World Bank since 1993 ? And the outcome - Bihar is flooded so frequently that it does not make sense for farmers to take help from WB funded NGOs to get water in their fields. End result - NGO volunteers are wearing Reeboks and you can see the state of the World Bank President in the picture below. By the way, does that mean the World Bank is not SOX compliant ?




Saturday, January 13, 2007

1.2 Delhi's Cold Shoulder

This was a week where a lot of stuff happened - sadly none of them good for Delhi and the people who rule the Nation from there - actually , especially for the people who rule from there.

The first setback to the country was ULFA returning - literally with a bang, actually several of them. The targets were kiln workers, fishermen and daily wage earners. Their fault ? They were not Assamese and were Biharis. Entire Assam came together against ULFA - at least the urban Assam with local assamese forming groups to protect the Biharis. But neither that nor an extra lot of paramilitary forces could stop the exodus from Assam. You would be surprised to know that we have a Home Minister in the Central Government - and you would not be surprised to know that he has not spoken a word about this. Perhaps a Home Minister in UPA government is someone who looks after 10 Janpath. If Mr Patil becomes even half active as his predecessor - the number of life insurance policies would go down dramatically in this country. I am not sure about the fine print in those policies though , whether they still cover terrorists acts as unnatural/unusual scenario of death. Or is it just me, creating much ado about nothing - after all just 30 people have died - those too the ones you wont even notice when you drive on that expressway.

More violence was reported from Nandigram - a village in West Bengal. This particular piece of violence was tough to understand. A reason for my lack of comprehension might be that the place is in a state ruled by Communists, which incidentally is also the reason the violence started. It seems that a group of villagers who thought that their land was about to be acquired for a Chemical SEZ, grouped together and took up arms to protect their land. CPI(M) workers did not like that and attacked the village with crude bombs and about half a dozen people died. If you still can't make head or tail of why it happened, join my party. The Union Government in Delhi again could not say or do much except send a few letters - because any strong move might destabilize the Center. In the end all that was happened was that the opposition parties called for a bandh. I never quite understood the concept of Bandh against people dying. Like Assam, here the people who died were farmers or daily wage earners. A bandh next day would mean that more daily wage earners would go hungry, increasing the probability of more dying next day. Which means the day after will be another bandh , in protest of people dying of hunger. which means another set of people dying. Which means ....

The news which takes the cake this week is the Supreme Court's decision that any law made under Schedule 9 of the constitution can be challenged in the Court, if it violates the fundamental rights. According to the SC, Fundamental Rights are the top priority to the Nation. For a moment, BJP cadres thought SC was talking about them when it mentioned "fundamental" rights. However, they anyway issued a statement welcoming the decision. Any court decision which puts the Government in Delhi in trouble is always welcomed by the opposition. Many laws including the ones on reservations and conversions could now be challenged in court. This will start a new chapter in the relationship between the Executive and the Judiciary. We might see many more stand offs between the two - like the one happening last week. This might be bad news for the executive but it is a really good news for people like me. We would now have a lifetime supply of things to make fun of.

However, none of the above news was of enough interest to make it to living rooms of India. We Indians never worry about people dying anywhere in the country if the count is less than five hundred. Which just means that the news from Bengal and Assam did not qualify for discussions. What qualified was Sehwag being sent to the gully because of his slip position performance and Ganguly being sent to the on side in a catching position. For those who hate their cricket - Sehwag was taken out of the one day squad and Ganguly was brought in. Another news which was hot was the wedding of Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachhan. While people were being slaughtered in Tinsukhia of Assam, news channels caught hold of numerologists, astrologers and tarot card readers to spell the future of the couple. Hundreds of people called up these channels to ask questions about the couple. I was glad sexologists and gyanaes were not brought on board to discuss about the other aspects of their married life. (The day is not too far though). Now that their wedding has been announced , I am afraid we will have to watch live and exclusive pictures of Ash and Abhishek getting married, going on a honeymoon. I am not scared of those pictures - I am scared because Amar Singh will follow the couple everywhere. Now I understand why the astrologers were saying that there is a "shani" in the couple's married life. You know who that Shani is

Thursday, January 04, 2007

1.1 : TWTW returns with name changed



TWTW
is back - but with its name changed. As the new edition is being sent to a large set of people who never saw TWTW , I would take a short paragraph to tell them about it. So new guys on the blog, The Week That Was , was one of the most well written, most awaited , most captivating mailer on the news from India. Old guys know that most of the above is fabricated.
Lets stop living in the past, and concentrate on the past which just went by - How was the week that was ? So was the week ....

The most important news of the week was from Noida. I used to think that Noida just has multinational and Indian companies which take their employees' "khoon-pasina" (blood and sweat). I was wrong - there are also men who do it to fellow humans. Ever since the skeletons have been dug out of the D-5 , Sector 31, people have started digging up stories which start from organ trading to cannibalism. The Mohinder Singh-Satish duo has now confessed to killing 35 people. Some of them were sold as organs, some raped and some eaten up - but all of them killed and buried in their Noida house. Most of them were kids and women. Noida police dismissed the disappearance of children and women from Nithari village as a common trend. The apathy of Noida police is not just the only thing where the police can be laughed at. Suddenly, all cities where Mohinder had ever lived are buzzing with activity. Police in those cities is quickly solving all disappearance cases - attributing them to Chaudhary. But back in Noida, the case has been handed to CBI - rather reluctantly by the Chief Minister. With elections round the corner and Soniya and Mayawati pitching against him, poor old Mulayam is scared to do anything these days.

Speaking about women politicians creating trouble for male politicians - Mamta Banerjee has created a major chaos in the left front. Yes, this chaos is on top of the chaos which the left front is made of. Mamta's 25 day hunger strike not only helped her shed those extra kilos, she also managed to gain some mass(es) to follow her. Singur battleground between a fasting Mamta and a not so fast to act Buddhadeb has brought a new life to the state of West Bengal, which has been feeling "left" out for a few decades. While all this was happening, Tatas, for whom the farmers' land was being acquired could think of only one thing - "Ok Tata".

Speaking about conflicts - amongst thousands happening each day in this country, one that caught my attention was between Central Government and Supreme Court. Supreme Court had created a list of 9 people , whom they thought were experts in Environmental Studies and Sciences, Government had to chose from these people to constitute a three member Forest Advisory Committee which would oversee all forest-based projects in India. Central government found none of the 9 fit enough to be given such a responsibility. A war of words followed - with the Additional Solicitor General telling the court that is "encroaching" upon Executive's domain. The court, obviously, had not heard anything like this before and said a lot of stuff which sounded like grumble-mumble. In an another story, Delhi Police chief in his annual press conference patted his officers' back and said that his team performed well despite social turmoil and provocation by Supreme Court and High Court orders. I guess His Lordship's court-ship period is over.

Speaking of ending courtships - this one takes the cake. An RJD M.P.'s wife has written a letter to the Lok Sabha speaker Somnath Chatterjee that her husband has been neglecting her ever since he became an M.P. Are you thinking what I had thought earlier ? An ideal member of parliament , who is so engrossed in his work that his wife feels neglected. A workaholic politician , and that too from Bihar, and that too from RJD ? Time to burst the bubble - his wife has alleged that he has started showing interest in other women after he became an MP and has been travelling with other women on MP wife's quota. The MP has denied everything, and the Speaker has nothing to say.

-Amit